


Standing Small

by rainbow_coelacanth



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, F/F, Introspection, Riko Appreciation, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 19:32:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10883466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbow_coelacanth/pseuds/rainbow_coelacanth
Summary: Before you realized it was too late. All you can do now is regret.





	Standing Small

**Author's Note:**

> finally satisfied with this after letting it sink in my notes (and maybe forgetting it for a while oops). i'm sorry for putting this in my favorite ship tag too but someone just had to deliver the Angst Content Nobody Really Asked For.

Chika, your best friend, was never one to stay still, even less so when she found things to be passionate about. Ever since she became a μ's fan she wouldn't stop talking about it. But you didn't mind listening. In fact, you were really proud of her. She was even trying to start her own idol club and you were more than happy to offer her your support.

Even if it meant doing some sacrifices of your own.

But it'd be worth it, you assured yourself.

Then you met her.

Long red hair and warm eyes. Beautiful, sure, but something in her novel ways of refusing Chika's invitation to the club drew your attention even more.

You remember being very excited when Riko finally joined your club. Granted, thanks to all of Chika's insistence. But now you had the perfect excuse to spend more time with her.

Luckily you had no trouble in talking to her. Unlike Chika, you knew how to act patient and welcoming, so it was easy to get Riko to be comfortable around you. Both of you struck a chord and seemed to have mutual interest in each other. You helped her relax whenever she got too worried and even got to save her from some of Chika's crazier whims. She was very smart and showed you how to be more practical. But there was something else that made her irresistible to you.

Riko was strong.

Not in a readily apparent way though. Her irrational fear of dogs might be the first argument for that. No, the strength you saw in her showed itself through her eyes when she played the piano and whenever she felt her efforts paying off. Her love for music and art also shone throughout her original pieces. They were not made by someone "boring and normal," as she would often describe herself. But a normal person wouldn't go so far as to dive in the ocean in hopes of finding inspiration, for example. How could she not see that?

You wanted to make her feel special and appreciated somehow.

Sometimes you would get distracted by her charming ways. The slight pout when thinking really hard, the way she brushed her hair behind her ear, hand always so gentle. Her shy giggles in response to your silly jokes. Oh, how proud you got when you managed to get those cute reactions. Last but not least was her favorite perfume. She inadvertently gave her preference away by using it more often than others. You still don't know the exact name of the scent, but it was definitely something light and floral. You came to associate it with the very imagery you attributed to Riko herself: cherry blossom petals swaying in the wind on a calming spring day.

Rarely you were caught staring, but everytime it happened, the way she called out your name in embarrassment made you feel butterflies in your stomach. And you prayed that she didn't notice the clumsiness that simple act brought you.

And here you were, acting all silly when you were supposed to be the brave and cool Watanabe You. Star of the high diving team. So popular that often you'd find fan letters in your locker. But it's not like you even wanted or expected them. Always true to yourself, you only did what you felt happy doing, always helping your friends with your cheerful personality. Good fortune just seemed to follow.

The way it wouldn't follow when you wished for it the most.

Now your idol group had six more members and you were starting to get busy. All of them were giving their best at helping each other, and seeing their progress made you incredibly fulfilled. But it was always Riko your mind always wandered back to.

Friendship was the bond which helped Aqours push their limits. But you slowly began to admit to yourself you wished Riko saw you as more than a friend. Did she ever wish the same? Was she doing ok right now? Would she like this idea you just had? Did she know you were thinking about her?

Your thoughts and feelings began to scare you. At some point not only they continued making you feel some sort of dizziness everytime you saw her or even thought about her, they started clinging to your chest and making it feel heavy as well. Why were you feeling so entitled to have all of her attention? Why were you craving it? Why did you miss her company so much? It all sounded too unfair.

Foolishly, you thought you could hide your feelings while still indulging in your daydreams.

So lost you were in your practices, thoughts and problems, you didn't notice when the eyes you loved so much started paying more attention to someone else.

Being the lyricist and composer, it was only natural that Chika and Riko spent time alone.

So contrasting were their personalities, the exact nature of their relationship was confusing to you. Even when Riko seemed to disagree with Chika they'd quickly find a way to work around their differences and, more often than not, their results would be better than your original plans. When they were composing together, you could almost see their ideas flowing to one another. Because of Chika's boldness, Riko had to get used to having her personal bubble invaded. You reluctantly admitted you thought Riko had gotten comfortable with it at this point.

You began to notice the smiles Riko reserved to Chika only. And one night, during camp, you could swear you saw them sneaking out together.

The dreadful feeling took you over. You started avoiding contact with Chika or Riko, specially if they were together. Just the thought of hiding your true self from your friends made your heart drop, but what was your other alternative again? Letting your negative thoughts surface up everytime Riko acted just a little more friendly towards Chika? Those thoughts had kept you up too many nights already.

Your distress got the best of you and, despite your efforts to hide it, someone finally noticed. Mari was much more sensible and caring then her eccentric persona made her out to be, you found out. One year your senior, she had already experienced the pain of breaking away from dear friends over conflicting wishes. And deep down you admired her for her resolve to patch things up.

To not know how to explain your feelings. To feel like your efforts were in vain. To part ways with people you love so much because important words were not said.

Imagining what Mari went through made you realize what else was at stake. Sure, not having Riko's exclusive affection was painful beyond words and you'd have to accept it again every single day. But alienating yourself from Chika as well was too much of a self-defeating blow.

Chika was still your friend and you wanted her to be happy. You missed the old times too. At first you thought that the idol club was going to be a thing only for the two of you but, as Aqours progressed and more friends joined, Chika's resolve and passion grew stronger, even in difficult moments. You didn't want your selfish emotions to get in her way. And you certainly didn't want your love for Riko to become hatred for Chika.

In the end, as if destiny's idea of irony, she was the one who came to you asking for reconciliation. You were ashamed of yourself for almost forgetting that she wasn't just Baka Chika, but your best friend who was always concerned for your well being and cheered you on when you really needed it. You figured if this was the girl Riko chose, she wouldn't regret it. And you'd be happy as long as they were happy.

At least, that's what you tried convincing yourself of.

Trying to replace passion with reason, you made the decision to not confess your love.

You played by your own rules. You accepted your defeat.

You can't complain.

**Author's Note:**

> this was my first attempt at fanfic-ing so please tell me your thoughts on it.  
> (wip title: you puns the fic)


End file.
